tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post7332432328136976923..comments2024-02-14T15:13:21.422-05:00Comments on Aging Gratefully: News flash: Bad things happen to childrenJunehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11710135137635433217noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-74772342001570204722011-11-27T01:12:17.517-05:002011-11-27T01:12:17.517-05:00Ick. The world is a messed up place. The best we...Ick. The world is a messed up place. The best we can do is be the best we can be, I think.Carolynn Anctilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12566204713508877389noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-85682471678678500542011-11-24T16:14:35.170-05:002011-11-24T16:14:35.170-05:00Hello to you on Thanksgiving day. I just came by a...Hello to you on Thanksgiving day. I just came by after a bit of time off-line to wish you a happy holiday weekend. (I know you're off work, so will really be HAPPY!) I was a "good" girl and still had some scary experiences as a kid. I worry now about my own grandchildren. I do give plenty of hugs though. Kids nowadays seem more comfortable discussing "bad people" and what they should do if they feel violated in any way. I had my grands for several days this week. On a ski lift, a man (who seemed respectable enough) talked to the 8 year olds and asked them lots of questions. They both thought he was "so nice." Too tell you the truth, it made me a little uncomfortable. If he were to approach them later, they would feel as if they "knew" him and being polite, obedient children might get themselves into trouble. There is such a fine line between being open to possibilities and being too vulnerable.Barbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04984171407726520584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-3444756373055302122011-11-23T04:24:54.252-05:002011-11-23T04:24:54.252-05:00I think most of us have had those kind of experien...I think most of us have had those kind of experiences, like you say, ugh. But, although they didn't do me any harm, and probably not you either, I'd rather live in a society where kids have someone to tell and understand that this is NOT okay.Jenny Woolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16881781466502273314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-36358078878338480372011-11-22T16:59:52.630-05:002011-11-22T16:59:52.630-05:00Here in SA, carers of children have to have Police...Here in SA, carers of children have to have Police checks, of course, and have to abide by a no-touch policy for children over five.Will these children have touch hunger as they grow up? of course, it is so sad.<br />Mrs VonVonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17421069895155350144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-33177743055439381962011-11-21T21:13:22.343-05:002011-11-21T21:13:22.343-05:00I think you're so right about it being a shame...I think you're so right about it being a shame that fear of sexual predators has made everyone more cautious about hugging or being hugged. Having physical affection -- like hugging -- from my teachers when I was a child made such a positive difference in my life. It's sad to think that now these teachers would hesitate and decide not to reach out, not wanting to take the risk of being misunderstood. I was also molested -- groped -- as a child by a stranger who had asked for directions. I was a little scared and grossed out by the experience. I told my parents who called the police and the man was arrested, tried and jailed. I don't think I had any long term ill-effects. I was just a lot more cautious about talking to strangers after that.Dr. Kathy McCoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02903015507894951725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-61281222754319521802011-11-21T02:01:58.351-05:002011-11-21T02:01:58.351-05:00I doubt there are many women who have not had expe...I doubt there are many women who have not had experience of the <br />inappropriate, the outright scary and the out and out abusive.Or all of them.Some men are gropers, some impulsive touchers, some gamblers and others rapists,sociopaths and paedophiles.It is a minefiled for children and young people and we do them no service if we don't teach them how to deal with this adult behaviour and try to make sure they know how to keep themselves safe, to be assertive and not to allow themselves to be victimised.Yes parenting could be better but inappropriate touching by a male adult is not the fault of the child or the child's upbringing.Vonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17421069895155350144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-58493342861883023422011-11-20T22:08:42.092-05:002011-11-20T22:08:42.092-05:00I was fortunate in that I never faced such a situa...I was fortunate in that I never faced such a situation, however when I was about nineteen I received a letter from my younger sister. She told me our aunt's husband had been making advances and was suggesting it was better for her to be initiated into sex by a more experienced man. She wrote to me for advice. I lost it, called my mom, and she dealt with it (or rather him). <br /><br />My sister and I no longer have a relationship and I wonder if this situation might not have caused some of our issues. No matter, I wouldn't change my response.Sakuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11508656442667275102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-82632019857097132042011-11-20T21:21:45.524-05:002011-11-20T21:21:45.524-05:00I think castration would take care of many of the ...I think castration would take care of many of the problems. <br /><br />Veg artist: I say if the dead was a child molester then don't just speak ill, YELL!!!#1Nanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04214011945298439939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-43182612593035661882011-11-20T13:01:39.777-05:002011-11-20T13:01:39.777-05:00I think I've forgotten whatever it was that ha...I think I've forgotten whatever it was that happened to me when I was a little girl.<br /><br />But I haven't forgotten what could have happened to my son when he was in middle school, if I hadn't reported his bus driver.Linda Myershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05706455533282204519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-39221460060278482112011-11-20T11:41:30.917-05:002011-11-20T11:41:30.917-05:00Great post. I don't know why it has taken us a...Great post. I don't know why it has taken us all so long to share these experiences from the sixties. I was 15 in 1965. When I was 17, my driving instructor used to take me on night 'lessons'. He used to kiss me and grope a bit. I felt sorry for him but never thought more of it, just that I didn't like it much. Thank goodness today our children are so much more aware. (How could my parents let me got for lessons when it was dark?)fiftyoddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17372578925298011630noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-15334343628912645582011-11-20T11:39:38.285-05:002011-11-20T11:39:38.285-05:00It's vital that a child feels able to speak ou...It's vital that a child feels able to speak out and confident that he'll be believed .... AND that those in charge will take appropriate action .<br />But I'm afraid that it will always happen . Some of the most unexpected people seem to have a creepy streak .SmitoniusAndSonatahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11210817141287881808noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-5351347581146475322011-11-20T10:44:19.565-05:002011-11-20T10:44:19.565-05:00Excellent post.
When I was a teen, our family dent...Excellent post.<br />When I was a teen, our family dentist was a very inappropriate groper. I talked about this with my sister. I talked about it with some friends who had the same experiences. I never, ever told my parents. My reason--I was afraid that my father would kill him and that would make me somehow responsible for his going to jail and leaving our family distitute. At the time, everyone understood that line of thought.<br /><br />Child sexual abuse is nothing new. The fact that we hear more about it may not be such a bad thing in the end.Olgahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00692441479616299920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-44935650628213497782011-11-20T10:42:01.718-05:002011-11-20T10:42:01.718-05:00I would say that most of us never tell for a varie...I would say that most of us never tell for a variety of reasons, fear they won't believe us or fear, in my case, that the father will kill the molester.Mac n' Janethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05732924562630675589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-12465347719062493902011-11-20T09:54:33.413-05:002011-11-20T09:54:33.413-05:00Hilary hit the nail on the head. Intention is usua...Hilary hit the nail on the head. Intention is usually not evident when you're sixteen. Or fourteen. Or, sometimes, forty. I'm gullible and would probably believe anything someone told me. <br /><br />Yes, bad things happen to children, thinking of the Penn State horror...DJanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07152183871573797791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-63980728694209631982011-11-20T09:28:47.690-05:002011-11-20T09:28:47.690-05:00We probably all have similar experiences which sti...We probably all have similar experiences which stick with us.. those that could have turned out much worse than they actually were. Back in the 60s, nobody told much of anything to their parents regardless of the situation. And I get the feeling flattered. What do kids understand about intent? That's what makes a victim.Hilaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12787493532006658679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-82683223335745416952011-11-20T08:57:42.932-05:002011-11-20T08:57:42.932-05:00I agree with all the comments, especially the Gard...I agree with all the comments, especially the Gardn of Weedn's. That's what happened in my case and at the age of nine... How could a child of that age make it up with all the detail. 'just sayin' <br /><br />It has, however, made me keenly aware of those who have had similar experiences, even without them uttering a word.Tamarahttp://tamarastreasures-swerline.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-69531865432343556532011-11-20T08:51:15.701-05:002011-11-20T08:51:15.701-05:00I found out that people don't believe you when...I found out that people don't believe you when you do tell, especially if you are a sensitive and emotional girl.Gardn Of Weednhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13722248657320248585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-36944054821736375402011-11-20T07:31:42.590-05:002011-11-20T07:31:42.590-05:00Guess what, I think most people know that, they ju...Guess what, I think most people know that, they just don't want to speak about it, like the veg artist.<br /><br />Don't speak about any of it, not then, not now. Don't really ever say anything that might upset anyone's applecart. Squirm inwardly, if you must and can't brush things off, whatever things they might have been.<br /><br />Just, for heavens sake, don't do what was done to you.Frikohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04277167831642088694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-179072149199219335.post-91411036508295293842011-11-20T06:41:08.142-05:002011-11-20T06:41:08.142-05:00I so agree with you. I had 'unsuitable' p...I so agree with you. I had 'unsuitable' people, and no one to tell. If I told now, I'm not sure I would be believed, and I was taught never to speak ill of the dead. Who am I to alter the memories of others, some of whom idolised these people?the veg artisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04029588460808570133noreply@blogger.com