Ponder this:

Sunday, November 14, 2010

A failure to communicate

Husband continues his communication obfuscation, previously revealed here and here.  He often speaks in code, and I must wait until he finishes speaking, and from the context, try to discern his meaning. 


We've been bringing in wood in preparation for The Cold and Dark Season. He brings tractor bucketloads to the screen porch; I stack it. It's getting close in there, and we were negotiating about where the bucketloads should be dropped so I would have room to stack. He came inside and told me, "I put the wood on that side (arm gesture) of the wall so you can stack it on the other side (arm gesture) of the wall."
Code key:  Wall = Porch


Husband has been buying woodworking tools, and recently found a needed safety part online. He mentioned an email he'd received from the seller, and said to me, "His PayPal address is at the end of the machine."
Code key:  Machine = Message


The language of woodworking leaves me in a swirling fog of confusion, and he's speaking that language now, frequently: jig, and fence, and kerf... 
I know what a jig is: it's a dance.
And I know what a fence is. Or I used to.
A kerf? What?


Pretty soon I think I'll give up and stop trying to  communicate verbally with him at all.  We'll move around each other like two dogs, sending and interpreting our intentions with the set of our ears or eyebrows. 
The tail thing will be a problem.

25 comments:

Mac n' Janet said...

It's got to be a male thing! My husband tells me I'm not listening and I say I'm listening it's just that I don't understand and he can't understand that.

Rosanne said...

As my husband ages, he speaks less and grunts more. I'm getting fairly good at choosing my own interpretation of them. :)

Barb said...

After 43 years, there is little need for words, though I occasionally like them spoken. You put a smile on my face this Sunday morning. Kerf? Now I suppose I'll have to Google...

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

You seem to have quite complex conversations with your husband . Hardly surprising that communication breaks down occasionally .
We stick to basics like , "What would you like for supper"? " . Now I know that couscous must never ever be served , any interpretation of the reply is acceptable .
"kerf" ? Probably closely related to an adze ( lovely word!).

Susan said...

Since my hubby and I "share a brain", sometimes we just don't speak. There is a tendency in my family to substitute words, and as I age I am finding this to be the case even more. Him...he uses the correct words, but fails to complete sentences, so I have to use my half of our brain to figure things out. Ahhh, the joys of growing older together. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Journey said...

Cute post! And so well described! My lovey often starts in the middle of a sentence, out of nowhere, and it's become a game to see how quickly I can figure it out. And we also do the "pause" between words - like just about the time I give up and start to leave the room, about the doorway, another words will come tumbling out. Yep, we do the "you're not listening" thing too. So glad to hear it's not just me!

That being said, I love him to pieces!!!

Journey said...

And kerf is a new scrabble word for me. Thanks!

Friko said...

Lovely post.
Are husbands and wives meant to communicate?
I wasn't sure before.

Kerf? No idea, but it's a lot of kerf(uffle) for such a little word.

Carolynn said...

Oh boy...I thought I was the only one experiencing this with my partner. The Frenchman speaks in code all the time and it drives me absolutely mental. I'll do my best to cut him some slack in the future. The latest?

Him: "I'm e-mailing you some pictures of me at nine."

Me: "Nine o'clock?...Is nine the name of a restaurant?....???"

Oh....nine years of age....

Maybe it's me that's dense.

Blessings,
Carolynn

English Rider said...

The secret is unveiled when you realize that they are so convinced that they are the center of our universes that we must always be able to know and anticipate just what they need. (blame mothers)

VM Sehy Photography said...

Sounds like he might have my problem. At least when it comes to the wall / porch and machine / message.

As I get older I find my brain grabbing whatever convenient word pops into my head. My husband corrects me a lot which drives me nuts because he knows what I mean. And every once in awhile when I correct him, he says that's what I said. Um, no, that's what your brain said. Your mouth made a different word. So it's going to be an interesting rest of our marriage. I think we'll have be more patient with each other.

Wanda..... said...

I'm not alone!!!

#1Nana said...

We have a sailboat. My husband insists on using sailer speak. On one particular breezy day I was stearing the boat while he fussed with the sails. He screams at me "Fall off, fall off." How was I supposed to know that "fall off" means to stear out of the wind? I almost lost him overboard! I really don't like sailing.

morningbrayfarm said...

Too funny. Yup, Don and I have our own code as well. :D

Pauline said...

That last line made me laugh out loud - let me know if you figure out the tail thing ;)

Hilary said...

It's a guy thing. We call it "manbrain." There's no cure.

Vicki Lane said...

Oh yes -- after 47 years of marriage we still have communication breakdowns. We do very well on the psychic level -- it's the ordinary everyday things that confound us.

He's a woodworker and a sailor and I actually know kerf and fall off and he's learned the publishing jargon I sometimes employ -- it's the stuff like "It's over there." "Where?" "THERE!"

Suzanne @ Window On The Prairie said...

It's a guy thing. I ponder things my husband says for hours at a time, then go back and ask for clarification. Sometimes it's like he's speaking a different language. As wives, we need to hire an interpreter.:)
Suzanne

Linda Myers said...

Thanks for the laugh. My husband uses only pronouns. As in, "They said this year would be different." Or, "he asked me when I would be going."

My psychic powers are getting stronger, but they'll never be strong enough.

Fran said...

The language of woodworking wouldn't exactly float my boat either.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

And you face all of this, after the morning howl? I'm SO SORRY!
xoRobyn

Lord Wellbourne said...

It'll all be good until the day you start greeting each other by sniffing nether regions.

Joe Todd said...

I'm to out numbered to comment LOL. Have a great day

fiftyodd said...

I just chortled my way through these comments! So many kindred spirits! My husband is also a woodworker and a sailor - I have had to learn these languages.

fiftyodd said...

Still, he does say "i love you' pretty clearly and often!