Ponder this:

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Y'can't make this stuff up.


Fun times at the office last week.
  • Man phones, put gun in car last night to go hunting this morning; gun is gone. Will send an officer, where do you live? I don't know, can you hold on a few minutes? Eight minutes later, comes back with his address.
  • Send officer, locked out of car at Grand and Main. Officer goes, nobody there. Guy calls back, angry: "Where's the policeman?" Told officer sent, no one at Grand and Main. "I meant Robin and South!"
  • Lady, medical emergency, can't reach the ambulance at the listed phone number. On Social Security (DSS) disability, on Medicaid, moved here from the city. Have you called 911? No, because the ambulance would take me to the the local hospital, which I consider substandard. Can't reach DSS representative, can't get a supervisor. Ends call, having decided to call State Commissioner of Social Services.
  • Man calls PD worried about neighbor killing his rooster. "He's already killed two of my roosters and wife is crying."
  • Guy wants to know what's the smallest crime he has to commit to get arrested. He left his ID in his home state and needs some ID. Several following days, spends several hours walking around the parking lot wearing a red Superman-like cape. Didn't get arrested.
  • Woman needs a copy of father's death certificate, doesn't know where he lived or if he's dead.
  • Woman, furious: People next door put up a clothesline in their back yard and she doesn't like looking at their laundry from her bathroom window.
  • Man, furious: Neighbor puts trash at curb on trash pickup day. On your property? No, on his property, but right next to mine. How long is it out there? For an hour before the trash collector comes.
  • Building owner cited for trash accumulation in the fire lane behind building, says he'll tell his tenants to stop throwing garbage bags back there. Next day, tenants hang full garbage bags on the building's second-floor exterior wall.
  • Tenant complains about unsanitary conditions. Inspector and property owner meet at apartment. Very drunk complainant lets them in for inspection. They all have to walk around a freshly deposited puddle of beer vomit.
  • Tenant complains about unsafe electrical condition. Shows inspector a singed, partially melted surge protector as proof, wants the surge protector back from the inspector so he can watch television. Later same day, tenant opens window to let in breeze, forgetting that it's the window that's holding his air conditioner in place. Air conditioner falls from third floor to Main Street sidewalk. No injuries.

26 comments:

Betsy from Tennessee said...

GADS---- are people that stupid??? Don't answer that... Sometimes I do dumb things too--but hopefully, not as dumb as some of those people....

You are right... Nobody can make that stuff up!!!! ha
Hugs,
Betsy

English Rider said...

Where's Darwin when you need him?

ladyhawthorne said...

Truth IS stranger than fiction!

rachel said...

Great start to a wet Sunday morning - a good chuckle. Thank you. Love the garbage bags hanging on the wall.....

@ly said...

Truth is stranger than fiction!

elizabethm said...

Quite extraordinary! Sometimes my OH has a small rant about people's stupidity and I tend to demur. I think you just proved him right!

Susan said...

At the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorists, I have two words only...Food Additives.

Barb said...

Life is certainly interesting! Thanks for the chuckles!

Hilary said...

Oh these are hilarious. All just within the course of one week?

June said...

Yes, Hilary: One week.
And it wasn't even a full moon. Or a new moon, Heaven help us...

Fran said...

That's some job you have. I hope you're writing a book. Or three.

#1Nana said...

We may live in the same town...this sounds like some of my neighbors!

Autumn Mist said...

This is hysterical. But I dare say the same things are happening around here somewhere!

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

But what crime was "Superman" attempting to get picked up for ? Impersonating a cartoon figure ?

Anyway , you must have a halo !

slommler said...

Oh my gosh!! Seriously? And they walk among us. I am afraid! Ha!
Great post!
Congrats on your POTW award!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Lori said...

Oh my goodness...too funny...and yes it's hard to believe that there so many people that are this way in every one of our communities...lol. Congrats on POTW mention!

steviewren said...

You had me giggling from the beginning.

I used to work as a collector...you hear the same kind of incredible stuff doing that. I used to write the good stuff in my address book. I didn't want to forget it.

Once a woman called to say she couldn't make her payment because she was a victim of divinity theft...I guess she meant identity theft cause she was no angel!

Lord Wellbourne said...

This sounds like a WalMart's Who's Who? This could be an entire episode of TRU TV's 'World's Dumbest'

Tammie Lee said...

such a wacky world we live in. Thank you for sharing these stories. Congrats on the POTW!

Kat said...

Wow, this is crazy!! Congrats on the POTW! Fun to read this.

gaelikaa said...

You couldn't make that stuff up; no one would believe you. Who said that the truth is stranger than fiction?

Congrats on POTW

Wanda..... said...

I'm late...but better late than never...Very fuuny happenings, June!

Carolynn said...

Lol...how did I miss this post? Must have known that I'd need this laugh today. I can't pick a favourite.

Toyin O. said...

Funny post.

http://youcanfacetodaybecausehelives.blogspot.com/

CherylK said...

VERY funny!! I enjoyed this post immensely. And congrats on POTW!

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