Ponder this:

Thursday, April 23, 2009


this week invites interpretations of Push.

Push! Push! Push! (Lamaze)
Push fluids. (Marly in her last day)
Push-tish. Oh. Never mind. That’s pish-tush.
Push me, pull you.
Pushy. (A man who arrived with his business application and simultaneous announcements of all the municipalities he had successfully sued when they failed to give him what he wanted.)

Some people push as a way of life. They are human bulldogs who carry on through the death of siblings while taking over the running of the dead sibling’s household in addition to their own toddler-filled lives while organizing fiftieth anniversary parties for parents while preparing other people’s taxes three days prior to tax day. I don’t know how those people do it. Do they never take time to absorb the impacts? Do all the blows simply bounce off their personal armor as they surge ever forward? I, being me, hold my breath waiting to hear, six months after all of it, that they’ve driven off a cliff somewhere. That doesn’t indicate that I think that’s what should happen; it indicates my complete awe.

I’m tired of “push.” I have pushed myself for the last six months, from the time the village board candidates announced, through the threat of complete removal of my employment, through the interpersonal upheaval and intellectual stress attendant upon the change to my daily job, through the death of a necessary pet, and through the death of a significant personal relationship.

My emotional constitution is different from those bulldogs’. I can take emotional battering from just so many quarters for just so long and then my batteries run low and need to recharge. I need to fold up in a quiet corner for a while, like an injured wild animal.

Push doesn’t agree with me.


Sharon P Pope said...

Me too (need to fold up in a quiet corner)! I enjoyed and agreed with your post. :)

Tangled Stitch said...

Another chord struck. This topic brings up a lot of negativity but since life is a journey of peaks and valleys I guess it makes sense to the artistic soul to visit the valleys. Wonderfully expressive.

Carolynn Anctil said...

I missed this post somehow...must mean that I was meant to read it today. :o)

I don't like "push" either, although I partake in it fairly regularly, usually pushing myself.

That said, I have every intention of curling up with my cat on the couch later today for a nap.

pinkfairygran said...

Sometimes, don't you think, you have to be 'pushy' to make yourself heard, to get what you want or need?

melanie said...

it sounds like you've been on quite the ride lately. i hope you find peace soon, in a quiet corner or in whatever form it may appear.

June said...

pinkfairygran....oh probably you're right.

The things that I want and need, however, will not be satisfying to me if I have to push to get them.