A friend sent me this in an email yesterday. At first I thought it was one of those goofy things that end with "I sent this to you because you're special. Now YOU send it on to all the special people in your life." But this isn't treacly hackneyed folk wisdom (God help the folk!). This is worthwhile. Taken in toto it reminds me of AA wisdom. I guess wisdom is wisdom . . . and largely common sense.
It was written by marcandangel, whose blog I've added to my bloglist.
When you stop
chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
As Maria Robinson
once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start
today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before
you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things
that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
Here are some ideas to get you started:
1. Stop spending time
with the wrong people. – Life is too short
to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants
you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a
spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your
worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at
your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are
your true friends.
2. Stop running from
your problems. – Face them head
on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly
handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly
solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset,
sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to
face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is
what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to
yourself. – You can lie to
anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only
when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to
be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your
own needs on the back burner. – The most painful
thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and
forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too.
If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters
to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be
someone you’re not. – One of the
greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make
you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be
smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t
change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the
real you.
6. Stop trying to hold
onto the past. – You can’t start
the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared
to make a mistake. – Doing something
and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.
Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading
towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than
the things you did.
8. Stop berating
yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the
wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong,
one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are
right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in
our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you
are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single
thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is
yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy
happiness. – Many of the
things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy
us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively
looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside,
you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You
have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with
someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that
wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive
action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves
risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking
you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels
100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life
force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally
comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting
involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to
be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is
meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for
the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new
relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for
everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach
you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to
compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than
you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle
between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous
of others. – Jealousy is the
art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself
this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining
and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift
your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand
everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on
those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that
eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.
So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were
yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding
grudges. – Don’t live your
life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the
people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is
saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”
Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember,
forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must,
forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others
bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those
who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time
explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t
believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same
things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have
time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what
you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking
the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little
things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big
things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend
smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make
things perfect. – The real world
doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the
path of least resistance. – Life is not easy,
especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy
way out. Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like
everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t
always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove
that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other
people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your
tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others
for your troubles. – The extent to
which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take
responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going
through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your
life.
27. Stop trying to be
everything to everyone. – Doing so is
impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN
change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your
focus.
28. Stop worrying so
much. – Worry will not
strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check
if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this
matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not
worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on
what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive
thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every
morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life
today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being
ungrateful. – No matter how
good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone
somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about
what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is
missing.