Ponder this:

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Let there be light. Please!

I've been funking for several days. The cold wind, the white-gray sky, the early dark (soon to become earlier darker, DST ending on 11/7), the care of aging animals, two evening meetings that were . . . difficult . . . to live through, not to mention the tedium of preparing the minutes, which, in these cases, I feel, need to be verbatim. It wears me down. During the week I had one of my rarely-indulged twelve-hour sleeps: went to bed at 7pm and stayed there, mostly unconscious, until time to get up and, once again, shoulder my yoke. 
The season of dry hands, dry skin everywhere, has arrived. Lotioning, as an activity, is not so luxurious in the dark and cold as it is in the balmy warmth of summer. 
Life has not been fun.

Deprived of sun, I have turned to illusive sources of light and warmth. I dig in the jewelry box for all the sparkly things that I own. Pearl and silver and faceted jewelry, the prisms of color and glimmers of light provide remembrance of human-friendly seasons. Pearly-pale nail polish to reflect any stray glimmer of illumination in my environment. I have discovered sparkly body lotions: gold, silver, pink.
Arrayed in my faux glow I emerge luminous as the interior of an oyster shell.

Remember that gaudy colorful bracelet? Wore it yesterday, received compliments from fellow color addicts. I could recognize them by their glazed eyes as they stared hypnotized by the jewel tones.
Listen: We take our pleasures where we find them.

I have run through every possible eBay item I might want and am now shopping for things for friends. Told Little B yesterday: "I bought you a couple of nightgowns. If you don't like them, we'll give them to the poor people."
"Why are you buying me nightgowns?"
"Oh . . . they were a good deal..."

Yesterday, in the shop that specializes in fitting those of us who are breast-challenged, a fortuitous introduction to an eighty-something woman twenty-six years further along in this experience. Baring of, comparing, what remains of former bosoms, sharing of stories, tears of gratitude and celebration and empathy. Sometimes just the right person appears at just the right time. Sounds dramatic, doesn't it? It was, in a minor this-is-my-world-now way.

And now it's Saturday, the forecast is for "milder with some sun" and 58*F. Today I will be able to be see and feel the sunshine, freed as I am from the week-long office captivity.  A respite from the long clawing-through-winter that has barely begun.


Fran Hill said...

I really enjoyed that, especially your description of you looking for sparkly things to cheer up the winter.

Jinksy said...

Now, why didn't I think to add a few colourfull jewels to my morning ensemble I blogged about today?! I see you approached the subject from a different perspective. LOL. Thank you for sending some of your sparkling glow across to my corner of blogland. I loved your descriptions, and think I will now go and raid my treasure chest and practise being a Christmas bauble. xx

lila said...

fabulous post...love your humor!!
I've being feeling like that myself, and we have lots,lots,lots of sun on my side of the world!
Must be some bugs that are traveling around?-Lucky traveling bugs!! :...any way.what i wanted to say is that I loved coming here to read you blog...fabulous blog!

threecollie said...

I love that bracelet and am glad you are wearing to cheer things up. I hate these short, gloomy, chilly uggy days too. Here's to sunshine and warmth.

Pauline said...

Love the idea of catching any stray glimmer with pearl nail polish! Clever of you. Your post reminded me of one dreary winter in northern VT when I pasted yellow smiley faces EVERYWHERE, just to shed a little light and sunshine in my world.

Hilary said...

Light is where you find it. You have a gift for finding the positive - the light - the sparkle. And for sharing it - thanks for that.

Freda said...

Your post shed light on my darkness-challenged life today. Autumn is not one of my favourite seasons and seems to be morphing directly into winter here in Scotland. Am off to look for sparklies!

Wanda..... said...

Your search for light and creating your own glow carried over into your glowing post!

Light some candles, hang stained glass and ribbons...and you could spend the winter creating "mail art" June. If interested...e-mail me!

Carolynn Anctil said...

Finally, someone else who isn't waxing poetic about the changing seasons. I'm already mourning the passing of summer and dreading the heavy gray skies with the rain that threatens to drown us every year.

I do look for the good in spite of it all though. The colours of nature are beautiful right now and the air has that distinctive autumn scent.

I liked the image of you emerging out of an oyster shell.

I also really like that you connected with a kindred soul on a similar journey.


Elizabeth Musgrave said...

I often read your blog but don't always comment. Just wanted to say "Yes,Yes,YES!" to your feelings about cold and dark. Me too. I hadn't thought of the jewel box response though. Genius.

VM Sehy Photography said...

I enjoyed the description of sparkly things to brighten winter as well. I've never tried that, so perhaps I will give it a go. Winter is such a tough season to get through.

I know what you mean by the right person appearing at the right time. I have a friend who calls me whenever I'm down. I don't know how she knows. I don't say anything in my blog or on Facebook. It's uncanny really. Her friendship has been a saving grace many times in my life.

Hope the winter blues don't get you too far down.

Barb said...

I like thinking of you sparkling, June. A little sun in your own right. You've made me smile today - as it snows in CO!

Joe Todd said...

I simply refuse to let summer go yet LOL Like I'm in control....

#1Nana said...

I'm with you on this one...I hate leaving summer behind. My system is shocked every time I go outside...where did the warm go? There was frost on the hot tub cover the other night. I'm already planning my afventures to warmer places. This week I;m in Texas...a little rain today, but temperature ion the 80's. I'll be back in Texas at the end of November for Thanksgiving and I'm going to San Diego for Christmas. Maybe retirement isn't such a bad deal? Now if I can swing a trip to Hawaii in January or February, I might make it through the winter!

Your writing creates a warm spot in my heart...hang in there.

June said...

I'm glad some of you read this as humor. My clawing through the jewelry box and mad search for light are actually acts of desperation. I'm pleased to know that the wry expression of it was amusing. That's what I was hoping for, or I wouldn't have written about it at all. :-p

Lord Wellbourne said...

I am fortunate that almost everything I do professionally involves bright, sparkly things or rich, colourful textiles. Outside is becoming the frozen wasteland but inside all is bright and beautiful. Excellent slice of life in this blog!