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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Shame

For Sunday Scribblings - "Shame"

Shame
Image gratefully borrowed from Oznik.com

I don't have a lot of time to spend on Shame these days.

I spent years imprisoned by Shame. Shame over things I had done. Shame for situations beyond my control. It crippled me, created fears and resentments that worked to solidify the wall between me and my life. Other people rarely made me feel ashamed; I created my own self-hatred out of my lengthy list of Shoulds.
Others' attempts to inflict shame upon me, I believe, are born of their own need to control their own environments of which I might be a part.

It appears to me now that shame, like so many other negative, demeaning, defeating, destructive emotions, is the opposite of honesty.

No secrets, no shame.

15 comments:

Barb said...

I rarely feel shame anymore - when I do, I believe I should pay attention because maybe I deserve the feeling. I don't like "imposed" shame, though - I don't accept it well. Have a restful Sunday, June.

quin browne said...

spot on.

Carolynn said...

Amen! I don't think I've ever felt much shame. Guilt perhaps. I agree though, choosing to live as honestly and authentically as I can leaves little to be ashamed of.

Tumblewords: said...

Nice post! I so agree with you.

justwatching said...

I could not agree more. I like the way you put it into words.

Heliotropism said...

I agree, but also disagree... sometimes the shame we feel isn't brought on by dishonesty or secrets... it is the cause of another person's actions to make us feel that shame. But, I totally see what you are saying.

linda may said...

That second paragraph sounds like me.

Wanda said...

I guess my world is small, but I can be my authentic self with everyone in my life, no shame involved with ones that love you!

Mary said...

I am tortured by guilt of the things I've done and haven't done. I know God forgives, but I keep letting Satan tell me that I need to be ashamed of those things and pull them out and turn them over getting my self all icky dirty in the process.

Dee Martin said...

I think maybe guilt and shame both have their purpose - to make us realize we need to make a change. Both can get so out of hand, like any other tool and be misused in a way that cripples. I'm glad you are working your way towards being free of it :)

A Girl Named Me said...

No secrets, no shame.

Well said! Every word of what you've written resonates with me. I have felt shame - I have recovered.

xoxo
AGirlNamedMe

C-ingspots said...

"I created my own self-hatred from my lengthy list of shoulds". Wow!! That line screams to me. I am the queenie of "shoulds". I hate it.
How did you manage to dump it? - the list of shoulds, I mean.

June said...

It seems I struck a chord with you! Thanks for letting me know. I agree that negative feelings can be useful if you're starting from a place where it's out of the norm to have them. That wasn't me when I was imprisoned.
C-ing Spots...since you asked...I'll need to work on a blog post. It isn't a short answer.

Gel said...

I like your forthright approach to have freed yourself of inner imprisonment from shame. Terrific write. This list of shoulds resonating with me! Now, you live a healthier life. I'm glad you gave yourself that gift. Living with self imposed shame was a circle going nowhere. Happy to have found you blog from Sun. Scribs!

June said...

Gel, I'm happy you came by and said hello!