Ponder this:

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Wherefore blog?

When I was five years old, I wrote a poem for Marietta, the mother of a son who died in his early twenties. Marietta, a sculptor and artist, asked five-year-old me for permission to use a line of my poem on her son's headstone.
And so it is.

In childhood I always, always, thought that I would be a published author; I sat at the kitchen table in our old farmhouse and made little books, complete with a handdrawn publisher's mark: "ReadWell"

Writing came easy early for me, and for most of my life, I kept handwritten journals. My preference was for the inexpensively bound office Record books. The nice big pages and sturdy covers (canvas, likely to fray and bend at the corners in the way of antique ledgers) lent status to my thoughts, as if someday far in the future somebody would find them and sit poring over my words in a dusty attic, lambent sunshine illuminating the aged pages.

When I was a student I hungered for creative writing assignments. There was always a short period of complete blankness, and then I would feel The Zone coming in like benign fog, and once I gave myself over to it, my brain went someplace else and I was inside whatever I was writing. It was never work for me; it was always a deeply satisfying exercise in getting the mood right, making the words work.

Years of writing emails and business letters have kept the spark alive, but I want the structure of writing, for someone else's consumption, what comes out of my own head. I want to create here something that brings out an "exactly what I would have said!" or "What meaty language..." in somebody who's reading me, whether or not the aha! is reported to me.

I have not shared the fact of this blog with anyone in my day-to-day life because I don't want to be fettered by the need to speak to someone whose attitudes and thoughts I already know. I can do that with email, and that's a different world.

I blog because blogging is a satisfaction to my own soul.


Anonymous said...

Hi there. Sorry for not commenting sooner...while I could get online, I was having a dickens of a time getting more than two pages to load up and then I just said forget it and went back to quilting.
You have a "voice" like my Auntie Toni. She just has a way with words that makes it all sound just right, to put the pictures in my mind of her words. That's how Ilike to read books. If I can't see the picture clearly, it's outta here.
I am sorry to hear about your work issues. As my cup is always half full, I am thankful you still have a job. Trapper Dude had gone through this stuff a few years back. While he is in a better position now, never say never. Already his side job of metal fabricating has fizzled out and yet, out of the blue, someone will call and ask him to do a small job...
I worked for our city for three years. Never have I dealt with SO MUCH DRAMA in my ENTIRE LIFE...EVEN WITH THREE KIDS !!! And I didn't even work in City Hall !! Yuck. Glad the Lord enabled me not to have to work outside thehome anymore.
Big girl pants? Hahaha...SO many ways to take that !!!
Here's is hoping that this week is a good one for you. Take care :)

Carolynn Anctil said...

As a lover of the written word, I can truly say, you have a gift. Well turned phrases, vividly painted images, abound in this single piece that I've just enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing!

Thank you for stopping by my place to leave a note, as well. Animals aren't technically allowed where I work either, so when they do appear, however, briefly, they truly are unexpected gifts that immediately lighten my soul.